I want to be a mom

I know it sounds crazy. Every time someone asked me when Drew and I are having kids, I have always said like 3 to 6 years. Well, it's been 7 years since we started dating, engaged or married for 5. I have always been so focused on school and my career goals, but all of a sudden it hit me. I don't want to be just a student, or just a therapist. Really, I don't want to be anything more than I want to be a mom. And even more than that, I can't imaging being anything more than the loving woman who gets to tell Drew he is going to be a dad.

Sometimes I think about how amazing my dad was. My real father has pretty much done nothing for me my entire life. But my dad more than made up for that. I don't think I would be here without him. He has made me the person that I am, and I love him so much for that. I know that Drew will be just as loving, just as amazing, and loved just as much as my dad.

Drew has given up or sacrificed everything to make sure my dreams come true. Hell, we are 1200 miles apart just so I could be at this program, a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. He has never asked me for anything, never asked me to sacrifice anything for him. I have never had to do anything other than be a student and a wife. But I know that Drew wants a baby, I see it, and I can feel it. I hear the excitement in his voice when we talk about it, and the love in his eyes when he plays with our nephews. I feel like it's time for me to give him something. To really make us a family. To give him everything he has ever wanted.

I want to be a therapist, and for the past 7 years, that is all I have ever wanted. But right now, in this moment, it doesn't seem to mean as much to me. When I close my eyes and think of everything I want, all of my dreams coming true, I see Drew playing ball with our son, and I see him building a doll house for our daughter. I see him shine, literally shine, every time he gets home from work and our kids run to greet him and give him a hug. Right now, it is like nothing else matters. I will complete this degree because I am so close, and I know deep down I want it and need it, but then, I am going to be a mom.